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Hope Is The Enemy of Suicide, An Interview with Jenny Hunter
This podcast episode features an impactful conversation with Jenny Hunter, a suicide loss survivor and the founder of JR's Hunt for Life. Jenny shares her journey following the tragic loss of her son, who ended his life in 2015, highlighting her commitment to supporting others affected by suicide. The episode emphasizes the importance of connectedness and open dialogue about mental health, challenging the stigma surrounding discussions of suicide. Jenny's grassroots efforts have fostered a supportive community that encourages people to ask direct questions about suicidal thoughts, reinforcing that hope can be a powerful antidote to despair. Listeners are reminded that reaching out to one another and sharing experiences can save lives and help navigate the difficult terrain of grief and recovery.
Takeaways:
- The importance of asking direct questions about suicide to provide support and understanding.
- Jenny Hunter emphasizes the necessity of connectedness to foster hope among individuals.
- Survivor stories reveal that many people regret their attempts and wish to live.
- JR's Hunt for Life aims to support those affected by suicide and promote healing.
- Training individuals to ask about suicide can empower them to save lives effectively.
- Hope is critical; without it, individuals may struggle to find reasons to live.
Links referenced in this episode:
For more information on mental health support, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
For more information on Prosper, go to the website
Transcript
Foreign My name is Kent Corso and I'm your host for this episode of One Minute Can Save a Life.
Kent Corso:While I am a licensed clinical psychologist, none of these guests are my patients, nor does anything I say constitute medical advice.
Kent Corso:The views conveyed during our conversations do not reflect the views, positions or policies of any private or public organization.
Kent Corso:This is simply a series of conversations with people who have some connection to hardship, suicide, mental health, or loss.
Kent Corso:There is so much we can learn from one another.
Kent Corso:So let's get started today.
Kent Corso:Our guest is Jenny Hunter.
Kent Corso:She is a lost survivor.
Kent Corso:Jenny, why don't you introduce yourself?
Jenny Hunter:Well, hi Kent, and thank you so much for having me on today.
Jenny Hunter:My name is Jenny Hunter.
Jenny Hunter:I live in Casper, Wyoming.
Jenny Hunter:I started the grassroots nonprofit called JR's Hunt for Life and I am a suicide loss survivor.
Kent Corso:Thank you, Jenny.
Kent Corso:So grateful to have you on today.
Kent Corso:I think I met you several months ago when we kicked off our project through the governor's office where we are doing community based suicide prevention.
Kent Corso:Prosper is being implemented in several counties and Natrona county is one of them.
Kent Corso:So I'm so glad to have met you and grateful for this time with you today.
Jenny Hunter:Thank you.
Jenny Hunter:And it was great meeting you and sitting through your Prosper classes and I really gleaned a lot of information from you.
Kent Corso:Well, thank you for that.
Kent Corso:I've also learned quite a bit from you, especially when we consider your lived experience.
Kent Corso:And I had the opportunity to be on your podcast a few times and very grateful for that opportunity.
Kent Corso:I think our listeners are moved by hearing real stories and not stories that are in any way trivial or traumatic, but just stories that they can relate to.
Kent Corso:Maybe stories that give them a bit of hope and a bit of comfort that they're not alone.
Kent Corso:So would you mind telling us a little bit about your story?
Jenny Hunter:Well, Kent, our son was 36 years old when he ended his life.
Jenny Hunter:He was the owner of a Godfather's pizza restaurant here in town.
Jenny Hunter:He had his own businesses.
Jenny Hunter:He was a hunting guide, an outdoorsman, a photography business.
Jenny Hunter:He owned a home.
Jenny Hunter:He was married.
Jenny Hunter:And it.
Jenny Hunter:This was not, I would say not a total surprise to us.
Jenny Hunter:He had made overtures regarding suicide ideations and he had been going to therapy for this.
Jenny Hunter:And when it happened, yes, I will say it was very shocking and very traumatic to us.
Jenny Hunter:However, we are living the loss to the best that we can.
Kent Corso:When did he end his life, Jenny?
Jenny Hunter: rd of: Kent Corso:Okay, so we're almost at the 10 year mark.
Jenny Hunter:Yes.
Kent Corso:Right.
Kent Corso:In about six months.
Kent Corso:And can you tell us a little bit about your path and your process in coping and sort of enduring this.
Kent Corso:I imagine it was a bit different within the first month than it is, let's say, last year.
Jenny Hunter:Right.
Jenny Hunter:And it, at the very beginning, it was a.
Jenny Hunter:It was the deepest soul pain I've ever, ever encountered.
Jenny Hunter:It hurt in places I had no idea that I had.
Jenny Hunter:Frankly, I wasn't sure I wanted to continue on with this life in this fashion either.
Jenny Hunter:I did, however, and I wanted to find a way to help other people so that, number one, they did not do what our son did.
Jenny Hunter:And number two, could find a way to live with it like we were living with it.
Jenny Hunter:And so that is where the inspiration came for JR's Hunt for Life.
Jenny Hunter:And JR being his name, he was a hunter, and our last name is hunter.
Jenny Hunter:So there you go.
Jenny Hunter:And instead of hunting for his wild game, he was hunting for life.
Jenny Hunter:We're hunting for life.
Jenny Hunter:So JR's hunt for life.
Jenny Hunter:And I did not know how to use technology.
Jenny Hunter:I didn't know anything about Facebook or these smartphones or anything like that.
Jenny Hunter:But I learned because I felt like I needed to reach to people that did not want to leave their homes, that were depressed because I lived that with their son.
Jenny Hunter:He didn't want to leave his house.
Jenny Hunter:He was depressed.
Jenny Hunter:He had some other things going on.
Jenny Hunter:So how could I reach those people that don't want to leave their homes and come to therapists and that type of thing?
Jenny Hunter:So I thought of Facebook.
Jenny Hunter:So I started the Facebook support page and quickly went global.
Jenny Hunter:And I quickly, very quickly learned that suicide is not just in Casper, Wyoming.
Kent Corso:It sounds like you had a steep learning curve with things like technology, but it also sounds like that delivered a very rapid rise in your Facebook following.
Kent Corso:Am I understanding you?
Jenny Hunter:Absolutely.
Jenny Hunter:It grew to around 18,000 very quickly, and people told their stories.
Jenny Hunter:And one of our mantras is no judgments because our son was non judgmental.
Jenny Hunter:So no judgments.
Jenny Hunter:You could say what you needed to say.
Jenny Hunter:We were not going to judge you.
Jenny Hunter:We were only there to help you.
Jenny Hunter:So, yes, it grew very rapidly.
Kent Corso:And I love the tone of what you're saying, which is that we're all here to help one another.
Kent Corso:Can you tell us a little more about your nonprofit and what its mission is?
Kent Corso:Is it strictly a support group?
Kent Corso:Is it a network?
Kent Corso:Help our listeners understand that It's a.
Jenny Hunter:Little bit of everything.
Jenny Hunter:It kind of morphs daily, weekly, monthly.
Jenny Hunter:First, to begin with, it was just to support people that were at risk and then support people who had lost people from suicide.
Jenny Hunter:And then it went into other ways of supporting people, such as businesses would want me to come talk to them or teach them.
Jenny Hunter:I'm sure you've heard of suicide prevention teachings and that type of thing and groups, and it just has grown very rapidly.
Jenny Hunter:And I have tried to provide whatever other people need to keep them safe and to help them grieve and move on with the journey.
Kent Corso:It sounds like it's grown organically, Jenny.
Kent Corso:That is to say, you've tried to put some guardrails in place and tried to lead the way in how you communicate with and interact with that community.
Kent Corso:But at the same time, it sounds like people have engaged with each other in a way that might be all their own and a very holistic way for people to just connect around shared pain.
Jenny Hunter:Right.
Jenny Hunter:And I really am trying to teach and encourage people how to reach out to other people because I believe that we need to reach out to people and not remain silent when we see someone or something happening that may cause someone some risk.
Jenny Hunter:I have reached out to our Facebook people and other people in groups and taught them how to reach out to people and what to say and just encourage them to be non judgmental and to listen to people and to ask the question.
Kent Corso:I'm so glad you said that because unfortunately, whether it's in Casper or elsewhere in Wyoming or even other states, we still have this belief system that some people ascribe to.
Kent Corso:And it's this idea that if we start talking about it, even with children or adolescents or adults, that by talking about suicide, we're going to make it sort of contagious or we're going to put ideas in their head that might drive them to kill themselves.
Kent Corso:I'm so glad to hear you say that because actually, you and I both know it's the opposite.
Kent Corso:We know that when people are thinking of killing themselves those last few weeks before they attempt, it's very apparent to many people that they're struggling.
Kent Corso:And when no one asks them those hard questions, are you thinking of killing yourself?
Kent Corso:Are you thinking of ending your life?
Kent Corso:When no one asks those questions directly, the person in distress concludes no one does care and it doesn't matter if I leave this earth and maybe I should end my life.
Kent Corso:And so unfortunately, as you and I both know, what happens is our own awkwardness or our hesitance to ask those questions ends up being a reason for that person in distress to actually say, well, maybe I should do it.
Kent Corso:It's almost support their ideas about ending their life.
Kent Corso:And of course that doesn't make it our Fault, Right?
Kent Corso:I mean, when someone chooses, chooses to end their life, that's their choice.
Kent Corso:We can't own their behavior or take responsibility for their decisions, but we certainly can look to opportunities to be part of the solution, right?
Jenny Hunter:Absolutely.
Jenny Hunter:When I do teach suicide prevention or awareness during the class, have a period of time where after I have told people or suggested ways to ask that question, then we pick a partner and everyone asks the question to each other.
Jenny Hunter:It is so difficult.
Jenny Hunter:Believe it or not, I remember how difficult it was for me to learn to ask that question.
Jenny Hunter:Even though I was a survivor, it was so difficult to ask that question.
Jenny Hunter:However, when I get these groups together and they talk to each other and they ask each other the question, then they start talking to each other and they role play and it's awesome.
Jenny Hunter:And I also encourage people, if they're not in a class, if they're on our Facebook page or whatever, to look in the mirror and ask the question to yourself, ask that question and get.
Jenny Hunter:It's sad to say, but I ask them to get comfortable with asking that question, and many of them respond with, wow, I'm glad that I did that.
Jenny Hunter:I'm glad that we did that in our class time, because now I'm really not afraid to ask the question.
Kent Corso:That's wonderful that not only are you asking them to practice, but when they do practice, they get quite a lot out of it, don't they?
Kent Corso:And even if it sounds silly to say it in the mirror, it does matter to be able to articulate those words and do it with a straight face and do it with the care and concern that so many of our fellow residents have.
Kent Corso:Right.
Kent Corso:And they have care and concern, but there's this obstacle, this barrier, and that is discomfort or fear asking the question.
Kent Corso:So that's so wonderful that as you train people, they become more comfortable.
Kent Corso:When we're doing trainings, we aim for that same result.
Kent Corso:Increased confidence and comfort being part of the solution.
Kent Corso:Right.
Jenny Hunter:I also let them know they need to ask that question without the stigma inflection in their voice, such as, you're not thinking about suicide, are you?
Jenny Hunter:I mean, whatever that, you know, people can hear that.
Jenny Hunter:And if you have that stigma inflection in your voice, they're not going to answer you honestly.
Jenny Hunter:So, yeah, that's another thing that we go over.
Kent Corso:Exactly.
Kent Corso:It's sort of like when people say, you're not thinking of doing something stupid, are you?
Kent Corso:And that's not the right way to ask it either, because the person in distress doesn't think it's Stupid.
Kent Corso:They see it as their escape route, their final way of getting relief from all their pain and suffering.
Kent Corso:So we can't put labels on it, like doing something stupid or checking out or using vague terms.
Kent Corso:When we say those words.
Kent Corso:Are you thinking of ending your life?
Kent Corso:Are you thinking of killing yourself?
Kent Corso:We're not only being very specific so they know exactly what we're asking, but by using those words, we're letting them know it's okay for them to say yes.
Kent Corso:We're okay hearing a difficult answer to a difficult question because people are very smart and they're very intuitive.
Kent Corso:And when we seem to be talking around a topic or sugarcoating it, maybe, well, you're not thinking of.
Kent Corso:Well.
Kent Corso:And the number of ums and wells and us kind of tells them, I'm more uncomfortable with this than perhaps anyone.
Jenny Hunter:Right, right.
Jenny Hunter:And when you do ask the question straight up, are you thinking about suicide?
Jenny Hunter:Yes or no answer.
Jenny Hunter:And if they say yes, then you know the direction to take.
Jenny Hunter:If they say no, you also know the direction to take.
Jenny Hunter:So in that very second that it takes you to ask that question, you're saving their lives.
Jenny Hunter:You're giving them the opportunity to make that decision.
Jenny Hunter:Okay, yeah, I want to live.
Jenny Hunter:Let's talk about it.
Kent Corso:Absolutely.
Kent Corso:And we know that most people who are thinking about it want us to ask them.
Kent Corso:They are sort of like inside, like, boiling to tell someone.
Kent Corso:But there are so many barriers and so many deterrents and so many potential negative things that could happen or that they feel might happen by them speaking up.
Kent Corso:So they really are waiting for us to ask.
Kent Corso:It's unbelievable.
Kent Corso:We need more people to understand that.
Jenny Hunter:And that that is one good thing about the social media that I have and that others share with each other within our social media is that they have been trained, so to speak, by me, to ask that question.
Jenny Hunter:Ask the question.
Jenny Hunter:Don't.
Jenny Hunter:I might use this acronym.
Jenny Hunter:Don't pussyfoot around it.
Jenny Hunter:Don't tiptoe around it.
Jenny Hunter:Ask the question.
Jenny Hunter:And I teach in my teachings a lot that when people say, well, if you ask them the question, they're gonna think about it.
Jenny Hunter:You're planting the thought.
Jenny Hunter:And I say, no.
Jenny Hunter:If someone were to ask me if I was pregnant, and I'd say, no, I'm not, but that's a good idea.
Jenny Hunter:I think I'll go out there pregnant now.
Jenny Hunter:No, it's the same exact thing.
Jenny Hunter:So you need to ask the question.
Kent Corso:That's awesome.
Kent Corso:I love that example.
Kent Corso:I've never heard that before, Jenny.
Kent Corso:So just while we're talking about all of your teaching and what people sort of get out of being a part of your network.
Kent Corso:What is the website or what is the Facebook page?
Kent Corso:Is it just, if people just go to Facebook, they can type in JR's Hunt for Life?
Jenny Hunter:Yes, that is on our webpage.
Jenny Hunter:That's on our Facebook, our Instagram, anywhere is JR's hunt for life.
Jenny Hunter:Or they can go to SafeTalk and reach me through that also.
Jenny Hunter:I can also share my email if you'd like.
Jenny Hunter:I share it globally so I might as well share it here, right?
Jenny Hunter:It's jlh35hotmail.com I get a lot of people reaching out through my email.
Jenny Hunter:I have people from other countries that reach out to me through email and that's what's so good about social media.
Jenny Hunter:It, you know, can't.
Jenny Hunter:We're saving lives, you and I, through social media all over the world.
Jenny Hunter:And to me, being a helper, I've always been a helper.
Jenny Hunter:So have you.
Jenny Hunter:I like to help people.
Jenny Hunter:I like volunteering and that is what absolutely keeps me going.
Jenny Hunter:If there's a day where I can't help somebody, I, I'm not quite as smiley as I am right now.
Kent Corso:As smiley as we both are doing this work.
Kent Corso:I don't know if you are asked this question frequently, but I am often asked, how do you stick with such a depressing topic?
Kent Corso:How do you stay motivated?
Kent Corso:How do you prevent it from getting to you?
Kent Corso:So what would you say to that, Jenny?
Kent Corso:If you're helping people literally every day, how do you take care of yourself?
Jenny Hunter:Well, my first thought is this topic doesn't have to be depressing.
Jenny Hunter:We save lives.
Jenny Hunter:We don't do it to watch people take their lives.
Jenny Hunter:We do it to save their lives and we do it to help other people save lives.
Jenny Hunter:And if we can network and spread the word, how to ask the question, how to deal with people, how to listen, how to be non judgmental, how to reduce this stigma, then it is not depressing.
Jenny Hunter:It is uplifting to think that maybe today someone's life was saved because of what we're doing.
Kent Corso:So if I hear you correctly, the way you stay motivated and positive is by focusing on your mission.
Kent Corso:And your mission is to save lives.
Kent Corso:And that doesn't mean your mission is achieved daily, it doesn't mean it's a perfect mission.
Kent Corso:But what it means is your intentions and your aims are something that you're constantly pursuing.
Kent Corso:Therefore it's motivating and feels positive and rewarding.
Kent Corso:Is that right?
Jenny Hunter:Absolutely.
Jenny Hunter:You are 100% correct.
Kent Corso:I appreciate that, Jenny.
Kent Corso:For me, if I can just share personally, it's reducing risk everywhere.
Kent Corso:So I know that we're not going to save everybody.
Kent Corso:Right.
Kent Corso:And there's a certain amount of people who, a certain percentage, under 20% of people who are suicidal, they are truly determined to die and they won't leave any signs or symptoms.
Kent Corso:They won't let us know.
Kent Corso:And so the way I maintain my motivation is by just focusing on the fact that whatever I'm doing, I'm reducing risk.
Kent Corso:And if we continue to try to reduce risk as a community all together, then we're going to see many, many lives saved.
Kent Corso:Right?
Jenny Hunter:Right.
Kent Corso:Well, we've got a little time left.
Kent Corso:And so I have just one or two other questions for you.
Kent Corso:For any of our listeners who might be in distress themselves or thinking of harming themselves or ending their lives, is there anything you would say to give them strength or hope or direction?
Jenny Hunter:I would tell them that of the many people that I have talked to that have attempted to take their lives, 100% of them say they are glad they did not die.
Jenny Hunter:100%.
Jenny Hunter:And I would say if that is 100%, then you are.
Jenny Hunter:Your odds are very good of joining that 100%.
Jenny Hunter:So I would ask them to reach out to a trusted person, to a safe person, someone that you know will remain confidential.
Jenny Hunter:If that's something that concerns you, your doctor, your pastor, your therapist, your counselor, get in, talk to someone that you know will keep them to themselves and that you can be honest and you can be heard and they will listen.
Kent Corso:That is astounding, Jenny, that 100% of attempt survivors that you've spoken to say they are so glad that they have a second chance.
Jenny Hunter:And I might add that many of them are disfigured.
Jenny Hunter:Many of them suffer head wounds, facial disfigurement.
Jenny Hunter:They are paralyzed.
Jenny Hunter:Whatever the case is that the way that they attempted, they are carrying those wounds with them, but they are still 100% glad that they are alive.
Jenny Hunter:And many of them have gone on to help people just like we are.
Kent Corso:That's incredible.
Kent Corso:So not only have they survived an attempt, only to return to a life full of the same pain that drove them to attempt.
Kent Corso:But now maybe on top of that, they have some sort of physical wound or scar that's permanent, a permanent representation or reminder of that, and yet they are still glad they survived.
Kent Corso:That is incredible.
Jenny Hunter:That is so hopeful to me.
Jenny Hunter:And that tells me a lot about the human spirit and hope.
Kent Corso:Absolutely.
Kent Corso:It tells me how resilient humans are, even despite a moment of desperation or impulsivity where they try to end their lives, that when they bounce back, they just come back stronger.
Jenny Hunter:Yes, absolutely.
Kent Corso:Well, in the last few minutes, we have anything you would say as a way to encourage or offer solace to any of our listeners who maybe are lost survivors.
Jenny Hunter:As a lost survivor, it is very hard to find your path in this journey.
Jenny Hunter:It's very hard.
Jenny Hunter:And I would say that to go with your gut, to go with your heart.
Jenny Hunter:If you don't feel like doing what I'm doing, don't do it.
Jenny Hunter:Just live your life.
Jenny Hunter:I know lost survivors that live their life to the fullest, and they really are not in the business that I'm in.
Jenny Hunter:Right.
Jenny Hunter:They're just living their life with their family the best they can, making their family happy, doing things with their family, and they have hope for the future with their family and themselves.
Jenny Hunter:So I would say that hope is the enemy of suicide and that you have to keep that hope.
Jenny Hunter:Whether you're a lost survivor or you're a person at risk, keep that hope, because hope is the enemy of suicide.
Jenny Hunter:And you will not end your life if you have hope.
Kent Corso:Thank you for that.
Kent Corso:Jenny.
Kent Corso:One thing.
Kent Corso:As I think about all we've just discussed, I noticed that connectedness is a common thread.
Kent Corso:Whether we're talking about the outpouring of support that you've seen on your Facebook page and within your nonprofit, whether it's your guidance to lost survivors to connect with family, whether it's your advice to people who are distressed right now to find a loved one and a trusted one.
Kent Corso:You seem to repeatedly be pointing people toward connectedness.
Jenny Hunter:Absolutely.
Jenny Hunter:Because only humans can save humans.
Jenny Hunter:We are the ones that are going to save each other, and we need to be connected in order to have that saving ability, so to speak.
Jenny Hunter:So we connect.
Jenny Hunter:I connect with you.
Jenny Hunter:I connect with my family.
Jenny Hunter:I connect with other people.
Jenny Hunter:Because if you sit in a dark room and you are not connected, then you are, to me, more at risk.
Jenny Hunter:And being connected brings hope.
Jenny Hunter:If you're not connected, you truly have a hard time finding any hope.
Kent Corso:What a powerful message that only humans can save humans and that if you're not connected, you're not going to find hope.
Kent Corso:I think that's a wonderful way to end our podcast today.
Kent Corso:Thank you again so much, Jenny, for joining us.
Kent Corso:I'm so grateful for all the work you do and so grateful for your partnership.
Kent Corso:Thank you for listening to this episode of One Minute Can Save a Life.
Kent Corso:Take care of yourself.
Kent Corso:Take care of your neighbor.
Kent Corso:Be bold.
Kent Corso:Ask the hard questions, because if you don't, who will?
Kent Corso:Production support for One Minute Can Save a Life was provided by TKB Podcast Studio.
Kent Corso:To find out more about our services, go to tkbpodcaststudio.com.
